The Thorny Path of Lovers
by piratequeen24
Summary: Companion story to Internal Affairs! Sick of Ichigo and Grimmjow's relationship taunting him with his single status, Renji gets more than he asks for in the form of a tall, stoically seductive dark haired man who proves to be a bit more than he can handle.
1. Prologue

_A/N:_ Hey guys, as promised here's the Renji/Byakuya companion story to Internal Affairs! Renji and Byakuya are playing a very interesting game in my head, and it's making it difficult for me to finish their story. However, here's just a taste. Hopefully I'll have the rest done (or at least the next part up) soon :)

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Ichigo and Grimmjow were making him sick.

Every day at the office he had to put up with his friend and boss, Ichigo, making pathetically happy faces. Not enough torture, he also endured seeing Ichigo's subordinate and boyfriend, Grimmjow, leer perversely anytime Ichigo was in the vicinity. It's not that he was jealous of Ichigo's current source of happiness; if Renji was being honest with himself, it was probably annoying only because it had been a little too long since he'd been laid.

After staying late at the office he shuffled over to the bar he frequented, staying late at the office was becoming a regular occurrence because Ichigo was so easily sidetracked. It wasn't like Renji could blame him, so he made sure to maintain his usual all-business persona in the office when acting his part as Ichigo's secretary. However, he couldn't take it anymore; there were some things friendship since childhood didn't make up for, and taunting a deprived man, intentional or not, with your latest happiness was one of them.

He might have been a little bit short with Ichigo for the past few days because of it too, which only made Renji more upset with himself. He'd have to apologize tomorrow. He'd been toying with the idea of trying to get together with Ichigo to just hang out and relax someday soon, but that would never work as a method to clear his head. Ichigo wouldn't be able to stop talking about Grimmjow, he just couldn't help himself.

He needed new friends. Or more friends.

Maybe both.

Sighing, he slipped into his usual seat and the bar's owner appeared almost immediately, heedless of the buzzing of her other customers.

"Renji you look terrible." she grinned in a friendly but pointed way, handing him a beer. He grunted.

"Ichigo and his lover are driving me crazy." He sighed, "That doesn't make me an asshole best friend, does it?"

"The honeymoon stage, huh? Makes you want to kick people in the face, if you're single. Ichigo would understand, I'm sure, if he wasn't so wrapped up in himself at the moment." She laughed good-naturedly and leaned over the counter. "If you want something to do this weekend, a family member is in town and needs something to do because I'll be busy working. Might be a good distraction for you…"

"Wait, I get it: You want someone to keep him busy." Renji sighed, taking a long drink from his glass. "I guess I'm your man, since it's not like I have anything better to do. How old is the brat?"

"Rukia." A clear voice male voice with a ringing quality cut into their conversation and Renji snapped to attention. It had been a long time since a man's voice had given him goose bumps, and he wasn't sure whether or not they were welcome. However, his body was thrumming in anticipation as he turned to his left.

"Byakuya, good, you found the place." Rukia eyes softened as she glanced to the beautiful, tall, dark haired man that was standing just over Renji's shoulder. With a face like that, he had to not only be taken, but long term, Renji thought wistfully. It had been a long time since someone had sparked his interest- the secretary job left him with little time for a social life after all.

"Renji," Rukia interrupted his thoughts and he redirected his eyes to his friend. "This is the 'brat' I was talking about. Meet my _older _brother-in-law, Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya, meet Renji Abarai."

Renji's eyes twitched in irritation at her amusement before he swept his gaze back to the man behind him and stood to hold out a hand.

"Pleasure to meet you; I had no idea Rukia had a brother until now." He said smoothly, attempting to cover up Rukia's dig at his earlier assumption that her relative was younger. He tried for charming, he really did, but his charm was a little rusty and probably just came off as over-eager.

"Renji, is it?" Byakuya's lips twitched into what might possibly have been a smile, but they quickly returned to their original, neutral position. "Rukia, you really need to take off work to spend time with me, it's the least you can do when your brother comes to see you."

"I told you when you said you wanted to come up here that I didn't have any time to take off and keep you company, and yet you came anyway." Rukia sighed and then perked up, "However, Renji here just offered to take you around for the weekend! The two of you should have a blast, so get to know each other. I've got work to do, I'll check on you later."

"Rukia!" Byakuya called, sounding indignant, but she had already turned to deal with her other customers at the bar. It was Tuesday night, but the place was pretty loud. Some part of Renji's mind registered the bustle of people around them, but most of him was focused intently on memorizing the lines of Byakuya's beautiful face.

"Stop staring at me." That same melodic voice, but a little harsher, Renji noted. He grinned,

"Sorry, but you're a bit more attractive than the usual man who walks in here- and I thought I was agreeing to take a teenager out and about for the weekend."

"Agreeing?" Byakuya glanced disapprovingly at Rukia's back, and then turned back to Renji, blinking, as if he just noticed something. "Are you… hitting on me?"

"Would it do me any good?" Renji asked, still smiling. He seemed to have taken Byakuya completely aback, because it took the other man a few minutes to formulate his thoughts.

"I'm much older than you."

"Can't be that much."

"It's true." Rukia inserted into the conversation as she passed by behind the bar, "He's so pretty at his age it's ridiculous."

Byakuya glared at her, and Renji was struck one again by his good looks. The dark haired man returned his gaze to Renji, looking thoughtful.

"Rukia told me about you." He said, talking slowly as if he was merely thinking aloud. "She said you used to be very brash and impulsive, but that you've aged a lot in the past few years. Yet, to me, you don't look older than 30."

Renji's eyebrow cocked curiously, and his eyes sought Rukia speculatively down the counter. She was distracted and didn't notice, but he could feel Byakuya continue to look at him and so Renji turned back to the man next to him.

"Why is it that women feel the need to share that sort of speculation with everyone they know? And yeah, I guess that's true; everyone has to grow up eventually."

Byakuya's dark eyes remained focused on his face, impassive but searching.

"Actually, Rukia used you as part of her argument as to why she loves her job and will not come home to live with me. She likes you." He raised an eyebrow, and his implication was clear.

"Well if she didn't tell you I'm gay, then she was playing you." Renji snorted, taking another long drink from his glass. "But yeah, I like her too. Why do you want her to go live with you?"

"She belongs home with me; she has no need to work and I'm her family."

He said it as if it were all very simple, as if Rukia was a foolish, petulant child and he had all the answers of life already figured out. Suddenly Renji had the desire to shake this man's world up, to prove that things aren't so black and white. They sat there, staring wordlessly at each other, until Rukia walked over and coughed.

"So, you guys are going to meet up Saturday?" She hinted, eyes darting between the two curiously.

"Yeah," Renji answered, "we are."

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

_A/N: _In the most straight-forward, loving way: just wanted to let you guys know that the more reviews I get, the more likely I'll keep motivation up to finish their story :) Of course I'm going to work on that anyway, but a little push never hurts


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: _I decided I'd go ahead and post the second chapter now. Let me know if you guys find any mistakes, I'm really trying to cutback on those. Happy Reading!

**XxXxXxXx**

It was Renji's turn to not be able to focus on his work when Friday came around. Byakuya had taken his phone number with the promise to call sometime tonight so they could make a plan for Saturday. Anxious, Renji wondered what he should take Byakuya to do, what he might enjoy, and why Rukia's brother, of all people, got to him.

"Something's different today," Ichigo mused, "But I can't quite put my finger on it. Renji, is something up? I haven't seen you this distracted in ages."

"I don't know." Renji said, then shook his head, "It's nothing."

"So which is it, you don't know or it's nothing?" Ichigo looked amused.

"You've found a man." Grimmjow's entered the conversation, having just wandered into Ichigo's office for lunch and appraising his lover's secretary for only a second. Ichigo's eyes bugged, startled.

"No way, you did? Who is he? Why didn't you say so!"

Renji glared at Grimmjow, who grinned as he strode over to sit on Ichigo's desk.

"He's-"

"Ah there is someone!" Ichigo interrupted, leaning forward in his chair in interest.

"If you would not interrupt me, I was just about to tell you that he-"

"You like him." Grimmjow said, grin widening, if that was possible, as he watched the red haired man pace about the room.

"Damn it! I don't know, okay? He's... different. It's weird." Renji sighed, dropping his head into his hands as he leaned his back against the wall. "It's been so long, and he's so good looking. And he's older, and he's Rukia's brother-"

"Rukia's brother! I know him, tall, pretty guy? Doesn't say a lot, doesn't ask questions, just tells you what to do?" Ichigo asked, even more interested. Renji looked up from his hands, eyes flashing.

"When the hell did you meet him? Why didn't I?"

"You remember the time I went home with Rukia on vacation in college? I met him then- you worked during the break."

"Why is it that I'm always working?" Renji muttered.

"But you like him? When did you meet him?"

"Last night, at Rukia's bar," Renji sighed, "and I'm not sure. He's nothing like I'm used to, but there's something there. Rukia totally suckered me in and I signed up to keep him busy this weekend before I'd even met him; I expected him to be some little brat. Now… I'm not sure what we're going to do."

"I know what I'd do with a guy I liked," Grimmjow grinned, and Ichigo tossed a glare in his direction, "But Ichigo here will probably suggest you try to romance him or something silly like that."

"I dunno," Ichigo muttered, chewing on his lip in thought. "You're right when you say he's different. I think you might be better off being more direct with him, no game playing. Be less meek- like you used to be."

"Why has everyone been making comments about how I 'used to be'?" Renji growled, "Is this me not good enough?"

"You've got a stick up your ass when you're in secretary mode." Grimmjow stated, earning another glare from Ichigo.

"Grimmjow, tactless as ever." Ichigo rolled his eyes when the blue haired man just lounged on his desk, and then Ichigo turned back to consider Renji. "You're great when you're in your fun, relaxed mode, you just haven't used it in a while."

"Great, so I need to relearn how to have fun before tomorrow."

"No, you just need to relax tomorrow and do what comes naturally- I have a feeling it'll work itself out."

Renji almost couldn't believe that he was having a real conversation with Ichigo, something he hadn't had in ages, and Grimmjow was even in the room. It was almost enough for him to take what Ichigo said to heart. Almost.

"Stop worrying," Grimmjow demanded, lips turned to a scowl. "It's pathetic."

Renji scoffed as he pushed himself away from the wall he'd been leaning on.

"Okay, this counseling session is over- Ichigo you have thirty minutes for your lunch break and then we need to get to work. Grimmjow…" Renji paused, assessing the blue haired man who was seated on the desk who had returned to leering, as usual, at Ichigo. "Try not to ruin his productivity for the rest of the day."

"Hey!"

Renji smiled as he walked out of the room- he was having more fun already.

XxXxXxXx

Byakuya couldn't decide how to make the phone call. He ended up just pressing the call button on his phone rapidly after a few moments of staring at it, forcing the call to just happen. Renji picked up the phone fairly quickly,

"Hey"

"It's Byakuya."

"Of course, I'm glad you actually called. Would you like to meet me at the metro station by Rukia's apartment?"

"Of course I called," Byakuya sounded slightly offended, but moved on. "You know where Rukia lives?"

"I have known her for almost ten years."

Byakuya paused, debating. "Yeah, that will be fine. At eleven?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you then. Do me a favor and try to act a little more enthused tomorrow, okay?"

Byakuya paused again, "Are you teasing me?"

Renji's laugh echoed across the line, and Byakuya's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"I was, sorry." The man's smile was almost tangible even across the phone line. Byakuya remembered his smile- big and almost piercing in what appeared to be genuine interest. Byakuya wasn't used to that, to someone's genuine emotion. Maybe he spent too much time by himself. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, goodbye Renji."

"Bye, Byakuya."

He ended the call, staring at the phone where it sat in his hand. How strange. Something about that kid stirred something unusual in him, and though Byakuya wasn't big on change, he was curious to see what spending time with the other man would do to him. Time would tell, he supposed- and they weren't going to have very much of it if he went home when he planned to.

XxXxXxXx

Renji was somewhere in between nervous and excited. Mostly excited, he decided, especially after the conversation with Grimmjow and Ichigo the day before. As much as he hated to admit it, all he'd really needed was someone to give him a push; their encouragement had solidified his determination and self confidence in a way it hadn't been in a while. They were right, it was time for him to show passion for something other than work, and Renji had a feeling Byakuya was just the man to reignite said passion.

He was on the train, less than a stop from where they were meeting, before he began to question his plans again. Byakuya seemed almost nothing like his sister- he was so much more serious, and intense. Idle, useless fears fluttered inside him. Renji struggled to purge himself of his last negative thoughts just in time for the metro to pull into the station.

Taking one last slow, even breath, he stepped out onto the platform. It took him mere seconds to locate Byakuya, who was standing off to the side staring with intent into what appeared to be nothing. As if he physically felt the weight of someone's eyes, his gaze shifted and met Renji's.

"Good morning," Renji smiled, walking over to greet his new… friend? "You slept well?"

"Yes," Byakuya smiled slightly back before his features returned to the neutral state they preferred- neither a smile nor a frown. "What are we doing today?"

"Well I thought I might take you to the royal gardens? This is the best time of year to visit." Renji said, a slight question in his tone. He wasn't sure, but Byakuya seemed like the type of man who would enjoy the serenity of a garden- it was a hunch he hoped paid off.

Byakuya seemed to consider that, and then turned his eyes to the sky.

"Late March… It's the season for the sakura tree to bloom, the season of cherry blossoms." His lips twisted again into what appeared to be his usual, small smile. "I would enjoy that."

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Renji filled the air with idle talk, happily maintaining Byakuya's interest with the history of the garden and maintain the pleasant atmosphere. Renji visited the garden often, it was one of the only places he could really collect himself when emotions or stress overwhelmed him. Byakuya never seemed bored or uninterested in what he said, though he remained somehow detached, emotionally untouched.

As someone who openly sought the comfort of friendship and companionship and was incapable of hiding his emotions, it was weird for Renji that someone could remain so accepting and yet still… cold. Was Byakuya feeling even part of the attraction he was? It was hard to tell, since he had very little to say, and Renji's rambling kept him from reading too much into the other man's body language. Had he taken the time to consider it as well, it probably would have made him even more nervous.

Renji calmed once they hit the garden paths, as if the air there had the ability to sooth one's soul.

Byakuya's face softened as he gazed upon a grove of sakura trees on the outskirts, lining the gardens with an abundance of light pink flowers. A few scattered petals floated through the breeze when larger gusts of air dislodged them from their branches; it was as if the trees themselves held within them an entirely different world. The instant peace of mind that reached Renji seemed to touch Byakuya too, and so he quieted as they both admired the fragile and short lived beauty of the thousands of blooms.

Their pace was slow, directionless and purposeless in their distraction as they assessed their surroundings. They didn't notice as they drifted toward each other, together, as if by some magnetism controlled by something beyond them. When their hands brushed, they both turned abruptly to gaze at each other in surprise.

"Sorry," Renji whispered, unwilling to completely break the calmness that had developed between them. The rush of the city life had begun to fade away, and the deeper into the gardens they went the less outside noise reached them. "I guess I was distracted."

"I was too." Byakuya nodded, glancing around. "This is a wonderful garden."

Renji smiled, having already mentioned how much he treasured the garden - a gift that helped him maintain his sanity. Quiet fell between them again as they strolled, until Byakuya spoke.

"I have a grove of sakura trees at home, winding down the drive." He continued to look at the gardens, not turning his gaze to Renji. "As a reminder of the brilliance of life, but also its brevity."

Renji was surprised at the sudden seriousness in Byakuya's expression. He seemed lost in some memory inspired by his own words. Unsure of what to say, Renji's response was tentative.

"The sakura tree seems like nature's reminder never to take anything for granted, and also to enjoy good times when they are upon you."

Byakuya nodded slowly, eyes drifting from Renji's face back to the sights about them.

"Thank you for taking me here, as many times as I've visited I seldom do much else than sit and watch Rukia work in that bar she obsesses over."

"I like that bar." Renji smiled slightly, "It's the only other place besides work and my apartment I ever get to see during the work week."

"I can't imagine your apartment being very nice, if you prefer to spend your time at that place."

Renji winced inwardly at Byakuya's tone, so calm and matter of fact while insinuating Renji lived in a dump.

"I like my apartment well enough, it's just so empty. Besides, I like to visit Rukia."

"You're old enough to get married, why not settle down?" Byakuya was now focused intently on Renji's face, as if he was genuinely curious. Renji barely noticed, however, as he winced again.

"I believe I mentioned earlier this week that I am gay." he sighed, "Besides, finding the right person is part of wanting to settle down. I haven't met him yet."

The look on his face as he contemplated that thought as he gazed at Byakuya, or maybe it was the flash in his eyes, gave away his thoughts and Byakuya shook his head slightly.

"I am too old and likely not good for you."

"You're using me as an excuse" Renji observed calmly, "What about you, how do you feel?"

"How do I feel?" Byakuya repeated, face blank, as if the question was foreign to him. There was only silence in response, as Renji watched closely for some sort of reaction.

"I think," He finally said, "That you should figure out how you feel about me before you decide I'm wasting my time."

"How I feel is hardly relevant," Byakuya argued finally, "The point is I'm not right for you."

"How can you be so sure? You barely know me." Renji argued, confused by the other man's vague rebuttals.

"But I know me, and I wouldn't wish myself on anyone anymore." Byakuya's tone ended the conversation, and they continued their wanderings in silence.

Renji was hardly satisfied, and he wasn't giving up; Byakuya seemed to have a pretty poor opinion of himself. Why?

Renji was curious, and now even more determined to romance Rukia's detached, older brother.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

They went to lunch after the gardens, and though silence stretched and lengthened between them, neither man was uncomfortable. Having taken the subway back to the block of Rukia's apartment, they were seated inside a café on the bottom floor of her building. Once there, Renji finally broke the silence.

"What is it, exactly, that gave you such a poor self image?"

"My self image is not poor, but realistic." Byakuya countered immediately, "Rukia herself could account for my unrelenting, dominant, unfavorable personality."

"Ichigo did say you have a tendency to order people around." Renji smiled slightly, "But if your personality truly was so terrible, which I don't believe for a second, Rukia never would have asked me to take you out on the town this weekend." Renji sighed, and then admitted, "I've had a miserable week or two, and though on a good day she loves to burst my bubble, on a bad day she's never anything but helpful. Therefore, you were meant to help my week improve- which you have."

"I think you give her too much credit. Clever as she is, Rukia could just have been sick of me complaining about the dullness of her life and forced her problems, being me, upon you with full intent to make it up to you later."

"You are hardly a problem," Renji sighed, rolling his eyes and leaning on his elbows across the table. "And I think you see yourself very poorly, because all I've noticed since I've met you is that you're thoughtful, intelligent and attractive."

"I've been married before." Byakuya stated coolly, detached, as if it wasn't a random response at all. Renji absorbed that, attempting to keep too much surprise from appearing on his face.

"Did she divorce you?" That would explain his poor self image.

"She died." Again Byakuya remained detached when Renji imagined most others would experience, at least, a visible flicker of emotion. The detachment was his shield, it was obvious; his wall between sanity and emotional overload maybe?

"You loved her." An epiphany. He was beginning to piece together an understanding of the complex man sitting across from him, and as parts of the puzzle became exposed Renji was unable to deny that he wanted to know more.

"I did. I do." Byakuya paused, and then continued. "There is no room in my heart for anyone else."

Silence fell between them as they continued eating their lunch, as if their discussion wasn't intense at all. When their server dropped off their check and left them again to themselves, Renji finally responded.

"I don't believe that. I bet there's an emptiness clamoring for something or someone to fill it. I think you don't believe you're worthy to be loved again, and are punishing yourself for something beyond your control. I think that emptiness is why you came to visit Rukia to try to talk her into going home with you."

"And I think you presumptuously speak of things you cannot begin to understand." Byakuya answered, eyes finally full of something besides detachment, "You presume to understand more than you can ever comprehend."

"I'm sorry if I offended you, but you have your opinions and I reserve the right to have mine." Renji pulled out money and slipped it onto the table as he stood. "I had a pleasure sending my day with you, and I would like to see you again. But, unless you can acknowledge that there's room for someone else in your heart besides your deceased wife, we won't have much of a future."

Byakuya was left sitting at the table staring after him, both curious and irritated, as Renji walked away. Very seldom did anyone ever challenge him, very seldom did anyone get under his skin, but as Byakuya watched the man walk away he knew that, regardless of whether he ever saw him again or not, those words would stick with him.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Rukia was still at the bar, eagerly anticipating the phone call Renji had promised when he returned home from his day out with Byakuya. Matchmaking wasn't really her thing, but Byakuya needed someone to help him out of his misery (as she didn't want to do it) and Renji needed someone to love (again, she wasn't up for the job)… they'd seemed like they might be a good match. She knew they would probably encounter some trouble though, so she wanted to find out right away how things were going.

When she never got a call, she began to worry. Had things gone that poorly? Had her brother royally screwed things up with his depressing attitude? Had Renji just given up on him all together? It wasn't until after three a.m. that she finally made it back to her apartment and Byakuya has locked himself into his room for the night. Curiosity was eating at her, but she figured she would wait until morning to harass him.

Morning would come, whether Byakuya wanted to face that fact or not.

**XxXxXxXxX**

_A/N:_ Review review review and I'll try to get the editing done before I get swamped with my hefty college workload! :)


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N:_ Here's some more... :)

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Renji was grumpier than he had been a few days ago, a situation he couldn't believe.

Byakuya was the first man in ages he'd been attracted to. There was chemistry, sure, but there was also something about Byakuya that screamed needy; like he, the strong silent type that he was, actually needed someone like Renji to help complete him.

Renji believed that he could help him bring together all the pieces, but that was only if the blasted man would accept him.

Too old, no room… the excuses ate at him. Age didn't bother him, though he did wonder how old the man could possibly be if he considered himself that objectionable. It did bother him that Byakuya said there was no room for him in his heart- because what that meant wasn't that there wasn't room, but that he wasn't willing to make room.

He hadn't read all the signs wrong, regardless of how different they were coming from Byakuya. In the gardens there had been a calm, comfortable companionship, as well as electricity when their hands brushed. And then at lunch, though Byakuya rejected him in words, there was something of a shadow in his eyes, some kind of regret.

Regret for what he said, maybe? Regret that he couldn't satisfy Renji how he wanted him to? But he could, and Renji knew it. He had locked away his emotions because he didn't want to deal with loss again, that was the only explanation. Renji wanted to show him that he didn't need shields anymore, that life could go on without dwelling on the past.

Besides, if Byakuya was as reluctant as he said, how would he explain the fact that their feet had kept in constant contact, no matter how Renji shifted, underneath the table at lunch? It was as if Byakuya's subconscious desired the contact he consciously denied himself.

Regardless of any of this, Renji had left the ball in his court. He would give it a week- one long, suspenseful, lonely week- before he gave up on Byakuya calling him. Byakuya wasn't the kind of man one pushed into something, and Renji didn't want to have to talk him into seeing him as relationship material. Either Byakuya felt something akin to interest and attraction… or he didn't, in which case Renji would let him go.

It would probably be the hardest thing he'd done in years, so he hoped he wouldn't have to.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

The house smelled of breakfast when Byakuya woke up, and he sighed. Rukia, his meddling sister, was going to harass him about yesterday. He knew it as surely as he knew that she would be wearing her bunny slippers as she cooked. He pulled himself reluctantly out of bed, wondering if she had just stayed up all night, because no one would wake up at seven a.m. if they had arrived home in the early hours of the morning.

He had heard her come in; awake the minute she entered the house. He tensed, wondering if she would barge in the room immediately, seeking answers to the thousands of questions she probably had. Byakuya knew that Renji was right and that she was likely seeking to 'set them up'. It was probably his own fault for coming to visit her once again in an attempt to get her to go back home and live with him.

Home, how he longed to be back at home. His sakura trees had not yet begun to bloom when he left, but the signs were doubtless appearing now. His grove was always late to bloom. After most of the other trees had already died off once again, his would begin to sprout thousands of pink flowers. Travelling home next weekend just for that very reason, Byakuya considered the blossoms the principal treasure of his home. It had been many years since he had been denied the pleasure of watching his own trees burst with life and then slowly return to their dormant state, and he would not miss it for anything.

Dressing and pulling back his long dark hair into a ponytail, he slipped out of his room toward the kitchen.

"I called Renji this morning." Rukia said by way of greeting as she popped over to the refrigerator for something. Sure enough, her bunny slippers were firmly intact on her feet.

"You must have woken him." Byakuya answered, calm as ever.

"I suppose so, but that's irrelevant." Rukia waved off the comment, "What concerns me is that one of my good friends is refusing to talk to me."

That was a surprise, one both welcome and hated. Welcome because it meant Renji had not filled Rukia in on their conversations yesterday, and hated because it meant she would demand the explanations from him.

"You, man-whom-my-sister-loved, will explain to me why Renji will not talk to me."

Byakuya simply blinked at her as she rested one hand on her hip, the other waving a spatula threateningly at him.

"Why is it that he doesn't know you had a sister?" Byakuya finally asked, both avoiding and answering her question.

"Why would she come into the conversation at all, unless you were one again using her as an excuse to deny yourself happiness? Stop punishing yourself!" Rukia actually stomped her rabbit slipper covered foot, that annoyed, before she took a deep breath. "Never mind, I don't care what you do, but don't ruin Renji's chance at happiness because of your issues."

"Am I an object, devoid of valid feelings? Am I a mere tool you are using for his happiness?" He remained impassive, but his suggestion was clear. She glared at him.

"Of course not, but you don't even understand what you need because you won't accept that you deserve a chance to move on! Or that you need someone else in your life." She sighed, "You're lonely, even if you don't know that's why you come and visit me so often to try to talk me into going home, I know."

Byakuya opened his mouth to argue and she shook her head.

"He's lonely too, his best friend is in love, I'm tied to my job and his life is his job- a job, as I've mentioned, that seemed to do little but suck the energy out of him. It doesn't suit him, this life doesn't suit him." Rukia turned back to the pancakes she had cooing on the stovetop. "He used to be the type who talked about going out to the country, living in the shadow of the mountains and the trees and making his own life. He has always just intended to make enough money so that he can move away. He never wanted to live in the city, he's still here because Ichigo and I are here, and he has no one else."

She paused, turning back to Byakuya who stood unmoving in the doorway between the hall and the kitchen.

"You want to live the same kind of life, yet neither of you want to do it alone. As it is, you both are living a shadow of the life you imagined for yourself." She sighed, "Having me home wouldn't fill the emptiness you feel- you need someone else, someone new, someone who wants you, someone who can understand you. Someone who isn't a mirror image and constant reminder of what you consider your only failure. I think you need to give yourself, and him, a chance at what you both really need."

Byakuya turned and walked out of the kitchen, unwilling to listen to her say another word, not wanting to let her see his face.

What he didn't know was that she had seen his face the moment he turned away, and the split-second of heartfelt, crushing confusion had shaken her.

But it had needed to be said; Rukia knew it and didn't regret it. She just hoped it was enough.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Renji had this strange feeling that ignoring Rukia's phone call had been a bad idea, because she had an uncanny ability to tell when someone was simply disregarding the phone or actually missing the call. She would probably harass Byakuya, and even if Renji agreed that he might need some harassing, odds are the other man would be better off on his own.

Renji paused mid-thought. When had he begun to consider himself more knowledgeable on Byakuya than his own sister? Since when did one simple decision not to take a phone call mean he was somehow inconveniencing Byakuya- and why did that matter?

Shit, he was in way over his head. It was ridiculous. And pathetic.

XxXxXxXxXx

Sunday passed with the men simultaneously thinking of each other and attempting to avoid thinking of each other, and yet they both made a decision that was, surprisingly, the same. The goal on both sides was to try to forget that they'd ever even met the other. Less surprisingly, they came to this conclusion for different reasons.

Byakuya was afraid of change (though he didn't think of it as 'fear' of change, but rather unwillingness), afraid to reopen an aspect of his life, and his heart, to someone he barely knew. Unwilling to relearn how to live with another person, someone he didn't already have intimate understanding of. Unwilling to start over from the beginning, when he'd already had the best love one could hope for.

Renji, however, just couldn't let himself be overcome by one man so easily. When he had realized that his passion for life had come back in Byakuya's presence, he was overwhelmed, and frustrated. It had been exactly what he wanted, a man to share his life with, but he was unwilling to compromise. Unless Byakuya came to him, Renji would never believe that he truly wanted it. He couldn't, he wouldn't force the older man to bend his beliefs and desires to suit his own goals. He would wait. He would live his life, try to regain some of his old self, and hope that either Byakuya would eventually come around or that he would forget ever meeting the dark, handsome man. Whichever came first.

Easier said than done, he supposed, but it was worth a shot.

Renji avoided Rukia's calls and her bar for a few weeks, loath to even utter the name of the man he was trying to forget, especially if there was still a chance Byakuya was around. After the first few severe, pointed looks Renji had sent him, even Ichigo had stopped asking about what happened between him and Byakuya. He seemed more or less unaffected, but he worked even longer and harder hours in the office. It was like he was trying to wear himself out by keeping himself so busy he never had a spare moment to think.

So much for the plan to regain his 'sense of self' and 'passion for life'.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Byakuya was walking down the drive of his estate, watching as the last of his own Sakura trees shed their petals in the evening breeze. Though Sakura trees had always brought him a sense of peace, they now also reminded him of the afternoon he and Renji had spent in the royal garden.

Odd, that one fresh memory could affect years of routine and ritual relaxation associated with his walks down the drive. Aggravating too.

Byakuya sighed, something rather unlike him, and his lips turned down into a frown.

He was lonely sometimes- he had admitted that to himself a long time ago. The only person he had ever opened up to, the only person he had ever been willing to break his rules for, was gone. After too short a time together, his love Hisana had passed away in the spring, years ago, and he'd been alone ever since.

But, for the first time, someone had seemed genuinely interested in entering Byakuya's life.

Rukia, though she was a loving and loyal sister, was not willing to give up her life for him. Part of him knew that made sense, but he was slightly (irrationally) possessive of Hisana's only living relative. Others… well many others were deterred by his demeanor, or he had given them the cold shoulder one too many times and they stopped coming by to visit. He lived in his dream home, a beautiful estate in the countryside with nothing but forest and blue sky for miles, and yet in the past few years it had begun to feel like his personal purgatory.

Not going forward, but he couldn't go back, Byakuya hovered somewhere in the middle, purposeless.

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

_A/N:_ I hope you guys aren't disappointed in the direction the story goes- definitely let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N:_ Decided I'd go ahead and post everything I've got edited to date. Enjoy!

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

"RENJI." Rukia's voice almost screamed in his ear, "Why the devil have you been ignoring my calls for weeks? I'm coming over for dinner, so you'd better be home."

The voicemail ended rather abruptly, and Renji sighed. He supposed it was time to move past the moping stage anyway, it's not like he'd actually lost something- he'd never had Byakuya in the first place…

Who was he kidding, that didn't matter. He may have had good intentions, but it was an impossible feat to get the older man out of his head. With nothing other than a few piercing and assessing looks, a few softer expressions and the accidental brushing of their hands as memories, Byakuya seemed more like a man from his dreams that someone he'd actually met. And every time he closed his eyes, there he was. Or, better yet, there was the possible life they could have together.

Was that normal? Meeting someone and immediately mentally picturing a long stretch of life together, years in the future instead of thinking about the now? It had been a while since Renji had been interested in a guy for anything other than a night of pleasure, and the newness of this feeling made everything just that bit more confusing.

He wanted to quit his job. He was done pretending to care about just another multi-million dollar company. Ichigo was one of his best friends, but Ichigo didn't need his help anymore to run the company even though he might think that he did. Renji knew that the only thing Ichigo really needed was someone to keep him from getting distracted.

Renji wanted to get out of the city, out of the stifling competitiveness that seemed to rule the lives of everyone who lived and breathed business and the city. He was done pretending to be happy with this life, done trying to convince himself that he would eventually get where he wanted to be if he stayed 'just a little longer'. He knew that the longer he stayed, the less likely he was to ever leave.

The mountains were calling him. He'd always wanted to find a home buried at the foot of a mountain and spend his days taking care of plants, fishing and hiking. Surprisingly, or not, Renji just wanted a quiet life. He'd been holding out with hopes to find the right person to share it with, but time was about up.

When Rukia knocked on his door, finally giving up on phone calls and arriving to harass him in person, Renji called for her to meet him in the kitchen. He was making teriyaki salmon, one of his favorite meals, and had left the door unlocked. She came in the room with a grim expression on her face and leaned against the door frame, settling there to asses him. A few minutes passed in silence, as she watched him plate the salmon and turn to the table.

"Sit?" he asked, nodding at the chair closest to her.

"You're surprisingly welcoming. I figured you would continue ignoring me."

"I was never ignoring you" Renji sighed, sitting down and beginning to pick at his food, "just taking some time to asses where I'm at in my life."

"You don't look very happy with your assessment." She pointed out, taking a bite from the plate he'd offered her.

"I'm not." The look on Renji's face made Rukia tense, and she grasped for an explanation. When she found it, she wasn't happy.

"You're leaving." She sounded sure, but slightly mollified. "You're leaving soon."

"Two weeks, give or take. I'm going to put in my notice at work tomorrow; I hope Ichigo doesn't make it difficult."

"Of course he will!" Rukia exclaimed, and then took a deep breath in an attempt to regain her composure. "Renji we're not going to want you to go, you can hardly be surprised."

"Can't I? You're living your dream Rukia, that bar has been what you've been working toward since college. Ichigo has enough on his plate to keep him busy for years, and I'm pretty sure he's found the guy he's going to spend his life with. Me? I've been biding my time, overworking myself to save money and live my dream." Renji sighed and shook his head, "It's a simple dream, Rukia. I don't need much."

"But you need people, friends… companionship. You know that's why Ichigo and I have always encouraged you to wait, because we don't want you to go alone."

"I'm sick of waiting." Renji sighed, eyes lifting to connect with those of his longtime friend. "Look at me and tell me you think I shouldn't go. Really look at me. You said yourself I've lost a bit of myself these past few years, and Ichigo kindly informed me that I've gotten 'meek'. The Renji I used to be was not the kind of guy who would never deny himself something he wanted, never afraid to go after something. I feel like a part of me has died while I've been wasting time here."

Rukia closed her eyes, unable to deny that Renji had earned his right to go. He'd long since paid his dues in the city, he'd been saving money for years after college, and Ichigo and Rukia had been the only things keeping him here. Friendship, no matter how strong, only held so much power over a person's choices, and time was up.

A rogue thought sparked in Rukia's head, a thread she decided to follow.

"Why now?"

"Why not now? It's been long enough." Renji pointed out, and though it was true, it was not quite reason enough for Rukia to believe that was all there is to Renji's decision.

"I refuse to believe that you simply 'realized' it was time. Something pushed you, made you think- made you want to leave." Rukia watched Renji's face closely, "That something was my brother."

Renji scowled and opened his mouth to say something that was clearly disagreement, but Rukia cut him off.

"You're at your emotional limit, it's obvious. What happened, Renji?" There was a long silence as Renji glared at her, frustrated. He finally broke eye contact to glare down at his food.

"I lost the only place I had to think clearly." He muttered finally, eyes darting up to meet Rukia's with a challenge. "The one place I used to go in the city to remind myself of why I'm here and where I've always hoped to end up also happens to be the place where I spent a day thinking that, maybe, I could fall in love. I've always liked a challenge, it wouldn't be me if I hadn't set myself some goal that's just out of my reach. But for once I'm not willing to compromise; I'm drawing the line in the sand. I'm sick of giving up the things I want in life for those I love."

"We never asked you to give anything up, Renji." Rukia said softly, afraid to spark some of the anger in him that was obviously hovering just under his surface.

"I know, it's just who I am" He said bitterly, "I can't help myself. I would give the world for the people I love, even if it meant giving up who I am."

Rukia considered him for a long moment, a man she'd known over half of her life, and imagined him living a different life. He was a man who felt deeply, that she'd always known, but he'd hidden other parts of himself from her. Like, for example, that in some ways he blamed them, herself and Ichigo, and that only made him more infuriated with himself.

"Renji." She said sadly, reaching out to touch his hand across the table.

"Don't use that tone," Renji sighed, looking up at her again, obviously ashamed of his outburst. He gestured about the room. "I'm not any different, I'm just burnt out. I need to escape everything here."

"Byakuya's not here anymore." She said softly, hoping that wouldn't upset him. When his kept his eyes firmly rooted on something over her shoulder, she continued. "He left that next Monday for his home in the country. He lives there alone too you know, in a giant estate he won't leave."

Renji shrugged, "Why bother telling me, he made it pretty clear he doesn't think we have a very good chance together. I don't think he was interested."

"If you have problems," Rukia almost laughed, she couldn't help it, "Byakuya's got them tenfold."

"Why try and set up two such troubled people then Rukia?" Renji asked sharply, "We are clearly destined to crash and burn if after one date we both run away from each other."

"It's not a bad thing to be uncomfortable with how someone makes you feel." Rukia spoke slowly and quietly, afraid to spark any more anger him. "And it's not strange to run away from that at first. I know my brother more or less lives in fear of falling in love again, in fear of sharing his life with someone. It's hard to say goodbye to those you love, and once you've had a taste of that pain it's even more difficult to open yourself up again."

"I told myself that I won't push him." Renji spoke after a short silence, his gaze returning to the wall over Rukia's shoulder. "I don't want to have to talk a man into loving me. If I have to market myself to someone, how can I believe that they truly want me and didn't just cave in to persistence?"

"Renji, all love is work and persistence. Nothing comes without a struggle, and often the best things are the things you have to fight the hardest for. If you don't want to fight? Fine, but then don't blame it on lack of interest on my brother's side, but rather a blasé attitude on yours."

Renji's eyes found hers "I think that's an unnecessarily harsh perspective, don't you? Nothing is quite so black and white."

"Maybe, but I believe it's true," She shrugged. "I only brought it up because if you want to leave, you should go visit him first. You never know what could happen." Rukia smiled as her business-owner brain forged the argument; she felt like she was closing a deal. "I tell you what: if you go tomorrow to see Byakuya, I'll talk to Ichigo for you."

Renji eyed Rukia speculatively, no emotions visible on his face other than a touch of wonder.

"I feel like you came here and turned everything around on me." Renji marveled while suspiciously assessing Rukia's face.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about." Her eyes glittered with mischief and Renji found it impossible to be mad at her. Maybe she was right, maybe he'd just had the wrong approach.

No one was going to fight for him if he wasn't willing to fight for himself, that he already knew. If he thought that Byakuya might be right for him, shouldn't his personal happiness be worth fighting for?

A touch of an alternate perspective was a startlingly effective way to alter his outlook.

"Okay, I'll go to his place tomorrow. But yesterday I found the perfect cottage, and I plan to go there if everything goes to hell in a hand basket."

Rukia laughed at Renji's wry expression, noting the strain around his eyes.

"Renji, you're got more strength and resolve than most people I know. You'll do just fine."

**XxXxXxXxX**

_A/N:_ That's all for today folks. Reviews make me smileee


	5. Chapter 4

**XxXxXxXxX**

Pulling into the beginning of a long drive, Renji marveled at all of the sakura trees. Though dormant, the sheer number of them lining the path to a house he couldn't yet see was remarkable. The estate, Renji noted depreciatively, was far more beautiful than the gardens he'd taken Byakuya to in the city. It was a wonder that he'd been impressed at all.

When the house came into view, its beauty staggered him. Simple and full of old-world charm, its rich dark wood and striking architecture were somehow in perfect harmony with the surrounding atmosphere. Nerves began to flutter inside him, but his determination hadn't wavered since he'd set out from the city in the morning. His first breath of country air had revived him in a way he hadn't expected, reminding him both of the dream he'd always aspired to and the man he'd always wanted to be.

Parking the car off to the side of the house by what appeared to be a garage, Renji took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

XxXxXxXxX

Byakuya had watched Renji's progress up the drive from his upstairs study window. Sliding downstairs and out the back door when the other man pulled closer to the house, Byakuya cursed his meddling sister. He loved her, that much was inescapable, but she tormented him unnecessarily. Her revenge for his constant determination to get her to return home, he supposed. Moving around the side of the house, sure that Renji wouldn't be expecting him to come from that direction, he watched the man.

Stretching from the long drive, Renji obviously approved of his estate. The perfectly planned gardens were tended lovingly, mostly by himself, so he was pleased by the man's approval.

Byakuya hadn't taken much time just to look at him before, and the opportunity was impossible to pass up. Over the last few weeks his mind had often wandered, much to his personal disapproval, to Renji. The man had left an impression. People were seldom as straightforward with him as the younger man had been- they tended to tiptoe around him.

Rukia didn't miss an opportunity to harass him, but others generally treated him with a cautious respect that befit both his title and persona. Always more inclined to observe than to speak, people had often considered him cold. In the past few years, he admitted to himself, he had actually become a bit cold. Emotion often led to thinking about Hisana and, as he was hardly a masochist, he preferred to avoid that train of thought.

The younger man was still standing by his car, staring at the house. Byakuya noted that Renji's red hair was messy, he'd obviously been driving with the window down. Taking that moment to pull it into a ponytail, Renji must have noticed the same thing. That motion drew attention to things he hadn't really let himself consider. The younger man's body was firm and lined with muscle that hinted at time at a gym. His arms, most notably, were quite solid for a secretary. The thought almost brought a smile to Byakuya's face.

Shaking his head, he moved toward the driveway.

"How long are you planning to stand in my driveway?" Byakuya asked, drawing attention to himself. Renji's gaze immediately shot to him before he smiled ironically.

"About as long as you planned to watch me."

Byakuya considered that, trying to judge whether Renji had been gabling or had somehow known he was being watched.

"As it's my property, I suppose I'm allowed to observe trespassers."

"How about visitors?" Renji asked, moving forward after he shut his car door and locked the car. "Do you simply observe those too?"

"What brings you to my home, Renji? No doubt it was my ever persistent sister."

"She does usually have her fingers in anything that might be a bad idea," Renji agreed, nodding "But I'm rather hoping that her instincts aren't so terribly far off this time."

"Oh?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow, leaning against one of the beams from where he stood on his wraparound porch, "And which of her flighty instincts sent you here?"

"The hunch that you and I were going to waste away wondering what might have been." Renji walked up the steps onto the porch and stopped in from of Byakuya. The older man stood straight, assessing the man in front of him.

"You hardly look like you've been wasting away." He observed, which made Renji smile.

"How nice of you to notice." There was a moment of silence where the two men simply looked at one another, neither speaking, until Byakuya brushed past his surprise guest.

"As I'm suspecting that you're unlikely to leave until you've satisfied whatever morbid curiosity brought you here, I suppose you're going to want a room." He glanced over his shoulder at where Renji still stood. "Follow me."

XxXxXxXxX

Byakuya gave Renji a brief tour of his home, during which Renji probably spent as much time assessing the other man as trying to memorize the layout of the home. Byakuya was beautiful and, though he knew it already, the tour offered a subtle opportunity for him to simply stare at the man. Byakuya had obviously felt his gaze, shooting a look and a raised eyebrow over his shoulder multiple times though he had never commented.

The home was perfect, clean and spacious, decorated with tasteful perfection. Renji had said as much at the end of the tour, to which Byakuya had only inclined his head with a slight smile and then suggested he clean up for dinner.

Dinner passed in silence for the most part. Renji took the time to take in the fluidity with which Byakuya seemed to move inside his home. It was obvious, probably to even the most casual observer (though Renji was not one), that Byakuya lived and breathed him home. He had a servant, just one, who must have doubled as both a cook and a maid as she served them a meal quietly and then disappeared.

When their meal had ended and they both rose from the table, Renji broke the companionable silence.

"Tomorrow I would love a tour of your gardens. Had I known your own were so exquisite, I might not have bothered taking you to one in the city."

"They were a breath of fresh air in a place so filled with concrete," his disagreement sounded chiding. "I will, however, give you a tour. Ten?"

"Sounds perfect." Renji smiled, sliding closer to Byakuya. The older man eyed him speculatively, suspiciously, but didn't react fast enough to avoid Renji's lips meeting his own in a startling kiss.

XxXxXxXxX

Renji had decided that the best way to win a battle against Byakuya's stubborn mind was to attack it both emotionally and physically. Feeling gutsy and attracted to him more than ever after passing even one afternoon with the older man in his home, Renji had taken the opportunity after dinner to steal a kiss.

The surprise in Byakuya's eyes was his reward, but immediately the taste of the man shocked his senses. Had it really been so long since he'd shared a kiss with a beautiful man, or was Byakuya just stirring things in him that had long laid dormant, waiting for the right person? The sweet, subtle taste, uniquely Byakuya, blended with the aroma of their dinner that lingered in the air. He hovered at the man's lips longer than he'd planned, and when Byakuya had finally pulled away Renji tugged slightly at his lower lip.

Eyes wide, Byakuya stared at the man as his breaths came slightly sharper than normal. Renji sighed, then deciding that he didn't want to be standing there when the older man recovered his senses enough to be annoyed, whispered a quiet 'good night' and strode from the room.

XxXxXxXxX

The next morning Byakuya breakfasted alone, muttering to whatever god listening to have pity on his poor old soul and spare him the attentions of this obviously persistent younger man.

"I'm too old to be starting over," he pleased with them, "give him someone else to focus on."

When he received no answer, not that he'd expected one, he simply sighed and sipper at his green tea. The kiss last night, the startling and all too soft kiss, had reawakened something in him he wasn't sure had survived the long years he'd been alive. Damn it, he thought, why had it survived? It wasn't like he needed it.

Hisana's face flashed into his mind, her soft smile encouraging. The memory of her on her death bed was startlingly clear, a day he'd never quite been able to wipe from his mind. She'd felt guilty, which he'd never understood. She'd tried to explain, but it really hadn't made sense until now.

"I fear that I've used up all of the love that you ever wanted to share," she'd smiled wistfully, "but Byakuya, I want you to love. Love our garden, love my sister, and maybe one day, love someone else."

He'd denied being capable of loving someone else, which had caused her to shake her head slightly, weak as she was. She hadn't mentioned it again, but her words now wrung in his ears. He didn't want to love again, it was so much work, so much emotion, so much weakness. After everything he'd been through in his life, he'd hated those moments when he lacked control the most – weakness.

And yet, he hadn't been compelled to turn the younger man away, and was instead inviting him into his home as an uninvited guest.

Renji slipped into the room, unnoticed until his face appeared directly in Byakuya's line of sight. His expression was cautious, but he smiled as he said "good morning" and slipped into the seat at the table across from him.

"You're up early." Byakuya said, shaking himself out of the past.

"It's already ten o'clock, or have you already started suffering from dementia in your old age?"

Byakuya almost smiled at the younger man's tone.

"You really don't know how old I am, do you?" He taunted calmly, eyes boring into Renji's. "No one ever told you the truth."

Renji seemed surprised at that answer, and then shook his head.

"I never asked, it never seemed important to me except as one of your arguments against me."

"Would you believe me if I said I was 71? An old man compared to you, I imagine."

Renji stared at him with an expression twisted in confusion.

"There's no way you're 71," he finally disagreed, shaking his head. "I have known lots of people around that age, my dad was close to that when he died from a heart attack, and you're nothing like them."

"I never said I was the same as every other 71 year old," Byakuya agreed, "but that doesn't make my age any less true."

Renji considered him from across the table for a time, taking a bite of the breakfast Byakuya's servant had slipped in front of him with a slight smile.

"If I was to call Rukia right now, she would tell me the truth." Renji finally said.

"She would, which would confirm the age I just told you."

Silence stretched between them for a time before Byakuya finally spared Renji the stress of confusion.

"My people have long been blessed with long life. We live to be close to twice the average human lifespan and we age at roughly half the rate." Byakuya smiled slightly, "you would have guessed I appear in close to my forties, am I correct?" When Renji nodded, he continued, "In general, we look about half of our age."

Renji cocked his head at him, contemplating the other man as he pointed out. "If I thought you were saying this simply to drive me away, I'd be pretty insulted."

"Good thing I'm not the kind of man who lies." Byakuya remarked blithely before standing. "When you're done eating, I'll be sitting outside on the porch."

He swept from the room, leaving the significantly younger man reaching for the cell phone he had in his pocket.

XxXxXxXxX

It wasn't the he hadn't believed Byakuya, it's more that it was such an impossible thing to believe, Renji considered as he shook his head depreciatively. All of his bemoaning about being old suddenly made sense, as his quick call to Rukia had her confirming, on a sigh, that Byakuya was going to live a much longer lifespan than most people. He supposed he couldn't blame her for not sharing that bit of information before, but Renji was slightly put off.

When he made it outside he saw Byakuya sitting cross-legged on the back porch, staring blithely out at his land.

"I suppose Rukia is content?" Byakuya asked without turning around, and Renji found himself smiling.

"She suggested that by telling me that you were testing me," he admitted, leaning against a porch post to Byakuya's left. "I didn't both explaining that I'd figured that one out myself."

"Had you?" Byakuya smiled slightly again. Renji was a refreshing change from many of the people he'd known in his life. Renji was honest, openly admitting to his confirming phone call, and blunt about his feelings. He tried not to think about the kiss he'd received from the same man last night, and decided to change the subject before his mind steered him into potentially dangerous territory. "Would you like your tour now?"

"Of course" Renji smiled, offering his hand to help Byakuya up. At the raised eyebrow he received, Renji grinned, "Wouldn't want such an old man to break a hit or anything."

XxXxXxXxX


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N_: Hey guys, so here's the next chapter! Sorry about the unexpected random quirk to Byakuya (his age), but there's just no way the two men are very close in age, so my subconscious decided that was my plan without really consulting me.

That being said, there is only one chapter left after this one! :)

**XxXxXxXxX**

Renji took his time, slowly working his way into Byakuya's everyday life. He was suddenly there at every meal, sitting quietly with him when he contemplated and chatting with him when they wandered the gardens. Everywhere around the estate Byakuya had developed associations with the fiery red headed man.

He was persistent man too, constantly slipping in comments that hinted at his interest, trying to spark some desire or response out of Byakuya. Occasional touches Byakuya deigned not to notice, but couldn't deny he felt down to his toes. Though he knew it was happening, exactly what younger man was doing, he was unable to deny that the other man was successfully breeching the personal barriers he'd steadily maintained for years.

Sometimes Byakuya would catch himself admiring Renji's lips, or the way his long, powerful legs moved as he strode through the gardens. He'd put the younger man to work since he'd begun teasing Byakuya about being too old to get on a ladder, trimming the taller trees and shrubs. Byakuya had been forced to admire that, though he had spent most of his life in the city, Renji undoubtedly did belong in the country. The atmosphere seemed to agree with him, he looked more alert and alive every day that passed, and he often had that same expression on his face that he'd worn the day they toured the royal gardens.

He had also become harder to ignore. Renji's casual touches caused less than casual reactions in his body. Though he hadn't dared for another kiss, Renji was playing a seductive game and Byakuya was the obvious end goal.

Though he'd never considered himself drawn to men (he had, after all, fallen in love and married a woman), he was unable to deny that he found Renji attractive. Time was only proving that, and Byakuya was afraid it was starting to develop into something more.

XxXxXxXxX

One month, Renji sighed, collapsing onto his bed after another long day. He'd spent most of it gardening under Byakuya's close supervision, trimming here and there in preparation for the summer season. One month he'd been living in Byakuya's house, and never once had the man asked him to leave. In fact, if he was being honest, Byakuya seemed to be growing more and more accustomed to living with him. Maybe he was even okay with it; Byakuya, as ever, was difficult to read.

He smiled to himself as he recalled going into the kitchen for a tea break and mid-afternoon snack. He'd gone to wash his hands first, and upon arriving in the kitchen had been unable to resist the urge to slide up behind the dark haired man to grab something on the counter. When his chest had pressed up against Byakuya's back, the other man had stilled and Renji had inhaled the man's sharp scent. Like spring after a heavy rain, the musky sweetness of it gave Renji goose bumps.

He wanted him. Renji was unable to deny it and wasn't sure how much longer he would last without taking the final plunge. The casual touches were igniting a desire within him that had become overwhelming.

Tomorrow was Friday, and Byakuya had warned Renji that his chef/maid employee was going to be gone for the weekend visiting relatives so they'd be on their own. Byakuya had meant it as a casual threat- that they'd be on their own for dinner and cleaning. Renji was hardly concerned, since he'd been doing that most of his life anyway. Rather, he was sensing his opportunity to finally, blissfully, nudge Byakuya into a final acceptance of Renji's presence in his life. Permanently.

XxXxXxXxX

If Byakuya had expected anything but a normal Friday, there was no hint of it. Rather, when he woke up he'd experienced an odd sort of calm. He'd dreamed about Hisana asking him to love again, and for some reason today it didn't seem as ridiculous. She had always held a power that no one else did, the power to make him believe in himself.

When he walked downstairs, slightly earlier than usual, he noticed Renji outside pacing on the porch. He looked tense, something entirely uncommon, and Byakuya didn't like it. Having woken up so at peace with himself, it didn't do at all to see the younger man outside so tense.

"Renji," he called from the front door, watching as he stiffened and turned sharply. Letting out a long breath, he smiled and walked over.

"Good morning," Renji said. The adopted expression was a more natural one, but Byakuya could still see the tension outlining his eyes and he wasn't fooled.

"You're restless." He observed.

"Yeah, I am." Renji agreed, smiling slightly. "I suppose you're too polite to ask why?"

"I do usually abide by a set of manners similar to that," Byakuya agreed, smiling slightly in return, "But today I'm feeling… different. So I'll ask; why?"

Renji gave him an odd considering look, and then seemed to decide honesty was the best path.

"Because of you."

"Me?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow, "You've hardly had any problem moving into my home and my life before now, what could you possibly have doubts about now?"

Renji couldn't help but shake his head, "Either you are unobservant to a fault, which I don't believe for a minute, or you do a very good job of denying the obvious."

Byakuya considered him for a moment, and then nodded. "Fine, I understand what. But I still don't understand why."

"Well," Renji continued to smile wryly, "I can't deny that you get straight to the point. Don't bother beating around the bush."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, "You haven't had any trouble being straightforward with me, asserting your presence irrevocably in my every waking activity. Everywhere I look, there you are, or there you've been, or there you will be. Why would I think that you'd have trouble being blunt in words as well as action?"

It was Renji's turn to raise an eyebrow, amused. "You think that is blunt? Blunt would be tugging you into my arms every time I get the craving to touch you. Blunt is giving in to the urge to push you up against the wall and claim your mouth for real, instead of that single stolen kiss I taunted you with a month ago. Blunt would be taking you out onto that porch and exploring your body the way I want to, outside where the wind could ruffle your hair." Renji sighed, raking a hand through his hair, "Clearly you have no appreciation for subtlety."

**XxXxXxXxX**

_A/N:_ I know, I'm cold heartless bitch to leave it there. But the next chapter is just so much better with a little suspense :)

Review, you lovely people you.


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N_: In case anyone reading this doesn't read 'M' stories for the smut (and I know most of you do), I would skim this chapter very lightly until the end... Last chapter folks!

**XxXxXxXxX**

Byakuya couldn't help himself, and he wasn't sure why. Something about staring at the flustered younger man, having admitted temptations Byakuya had never guessed he had been fighting, caused a final crack in his long adapted facade.

He closed the distance between them, maintaining eye contact until he was looking directly up into Renji's eyes. He hadn't really noticed the subtle height difference, some part of him had thought his was taller just because he was older, but he noticed it now. Searching Reni's heated, cautious eyes for a moment, Byakuya smiled slightly and pulled the younger mans lips down to his firmly.

"Sometimes," he muttered, "subtlety is simply a waste of time."

XxXxXxXxX

Renji had died and gone to heaven, that was the only explanation for why he now had Byakuya tugging lightly at his lips with his own, their bodies pressed firmly together. He enjoyed the feeling for a long set of moments, responding eagerly but slowly to the other man's startling kiss. Finally, he pulled back with a grin.

"I highly doubt anything but slow, subtle stolen touches would have gotten me anywhere, you stubborn old man." He stole another quick kiss, and then smiled self depreciatingly, "Of course, I also had to move into your house and consume your every waking moment for a month."

Byakuya tilted his head and considered him before nodding thoughtfully.

"I suppose not." And with a grin, he tilted his head up for another kiss.

Wrapping one hand firmly against the older man's neck, the other slipping down to his waist, Renji tilted his head so that their lips pressed firmly together. He groaned, tugging lightly as Byakuya's lips as he silently pleaded for the man to open to him. Instead, Byakuya pulled back slightly so that their lips separated.

The two men stared at each other once more, searching each other's faces from something neither of them could name. Finally, Byakuya broke the silence.

"Just so we're clear, I can't promise you love. I'm not sure whether the emotion still exists inside me, but if we start this I'm not going to let you go. I'm going to make you pass every last waking moment of your life within ten meters of me at all times because, though I've suffered loss before, I refuse to do it again." He let go of Renji's shirt to slide his hands up into the other mans hair, loosing the band that held the red locks in place and slipping his fingers through the silky hair as it slipped between their faces. Softly, he pushed it out of Renji's eyes, finishing emphatically, "I make no promises other than to keep you and to cherish you. Tell me that's enough."

Renji's face sparked with emotion, the hand around Byakuya's neck caressed slow circles at the base of his hair. Seconds passed and he finally spoke.

"I don't want you to promise me anything you can't give. Love, and I do believe you have it in you, can wait. Because I want you, every bit of you, but more importantly I want every piece of you as you're ready to give it to me. For now, this is enough." And he crushed their lips back together, the hand on Byakuya's hip pulling their bodies flush against one another and eliciting a moan from them both.

For a time kissing was enough. They hadn't allowed themselves even that in the month they'd lived together, both growing more and more attached to the other by the repetition of daily duties, their calming presence and learning that their personalities fit together better than one could have believed. All of Renji's fiery passion, difficult to contain, was a 180 from the carefully controlled Byakuya who let loose rarely, but held a flood gate of feelings and emotion.

Slowly, passionately, they took their time learning each other's bodies. Out on the back porch, as Renji had claimed he'd fought the urge to do for the past month. They slid to the deck at some point, laying together, caressing, exploring until Renji could no longer enjoy the calm patience Byakuya seemed so capable of maintaining.

"Is it an age thing?" he grumbled, lips sliding down the other man's chest, stopping for a moment to nibble at a nipple, before his hands slid down to Byakuya's pants.

"Is what an age thing?" Byakuya asked, a smile in his voice, breathing heavily. Air slipped in an unbidden rush from his lips as Renji divested him of his pants, but not allowing himself to be distracted by the gloriously naked man before him, Renji glanced up to answer.

"The calmness; somehow you seem so much less frantic, so much less needy."

"Oh I am no less needy," Byakuya groaned as Renji's hand slipped around his arousal. For a few moments neither of them moved while Byakuya sought to finish his thought, much to Renji's satisfaction. "I'm just less greedy. I know that good things come to those who wait."

"Well," Renji smiled wickedly, slipping his face down to eye level with his full hand, "I say, good things don't have to wait."

Wrapping his mouth around him, Renji groaned at the feeling. It had been so long since he'd been with a man that he'd forgotten how enjoyable simple foreplay could be. The tension, growing and growing, was building to an almost tormenting level. He took his time, enjoying the older man before Byakuya had enough of Renji being in control.

They rolled, a little, a brief struggle for the dominant position left them both naked and Byakuya sitting smugly on top of Renji's thighs.

"The older man should get the privilege, no?" he teased, caressing Renji's lower stomach teasingly, drifting that hand to the heat of his lover's arousal and leaning down to purr in his ear. "I may never have done it with a man, but I still have more practice." He nipped lightly at Renji's neck as he lifted off of red head's legs and rolled them over. Renji grinned, now looking down at the other man.

"I wanted you inside me anyway, so no hardship there." He leaned forward to return to kissing Byakuya, rubbing their arousal together between their sweat slicked bodies. The early summer air almost felt chilly compared to their fervor. Byakuya reached a hand behind Renji and cupped his behind tightly, enjoying its firmness, before slipping his hands between the cheeks and enjoying the soft groan of the man lying on top of him.

Byakuya worked slowly, and though Renji understood why, he couldn't stand the torment any longer. Raising his eyes to meet Byakuya's, he pulled away and lifted himself so he rested right about Byakuya's length. Eyes flashing with arousal, Byakuya said nothing, devouring the sight of the beautiful red haired man straddling his hips and slowly lowering himself onto him.

Renji's sigh of sweet surrender caused the clenching of something inside him, something that was suspiciously similar to his heart, as well at tightening in his loins. They rode the pleasure, slow and steady for as long as they could as Byakuya learned the feel of a man, but he eventually flipped Renji over with finesse and drove them both to exhausted completion.

XxXxXxXxX

Renji had, when he finally regained the ability to move, gone upstairs to gather himself and Byakuya robes and a snack so that they could resume their calm enjoyment of the post-coital glow and summer afternoon. They hadn't said much, but he wasn't surprised. Anything that had needed to be said was out already, everything else was in the way Byakuya now looked at him, touched him. He was content.

In the coming weeks, Renji had come to suspect that something in Byakuya had broken. Be it a long existing cage he kept on his emotions or something else, he was slightly less closed off. Renji had very little problem discerning the minor fluctuations in his lover's emotions, never mind the bigger ones. Their life resumed its casual pace, but was now filled with lingering caresses and nights spent in each other's arms that were much more than casual. Renji's suspected that he'd never get Byakuya to admit to 'love', but Renji no longer wanted to hear the words out loud. He didn't need to.

Everything that he needed was there, in Byakuya's face every morning. Everything he could have dreamed was nestled in the extravagant estate Byakuya had long called home, including the man himself.

The only thing left to do was tell Rukia, but damned in hell if he was going to listen to a lifetime of 'I told you so'. So he hadn't called her, and neither had Byakuya.

Besides, if he knew his friend at all, she'd be showing up at the house the next weekend she could take off, just to check on them.

It wouldn't be long, a woman's impatience knew no bounds.

Until then, life with his tall, beautiful lover was nothing but peaceful. He wondered if Ichigo would want to come visit…

**XxXxXxXxX**

A/N: Man, my record for mindless fluff at the end of yaoi stories is 3 for 3. I think I have an issue...

That's all folks! Story complete. I would love your reviews and thoughts on the story! And if you enjoyed it, thank Renji and byakuya for being such difficult, stubborn characters who refused to give in without a proper story.

:)


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